On my way to week 4

I can't believe how long it has been since I have written in my blog. That can either mean 2 things: I am having such a wonderful time teaching that I have nothing to complain about on my blog, or this past week has been extremely crazy, intense, and overwhelming that writing in my blog is the last thing on my mind.

Well sorry to break it to you but last week was (to say the least) a challenge. Every day is so intense and filled with horrible/wonderful things that I cannot remember most of the details. I think that my brain has created a self preservation system and has purposefully chosen to block out most of my teaching experience (possibly too traumatizing). Here is a brief recap of events that I remember:

Classroom Management
Every day is an unpredictable time bomb in my classroom, ready to explode at any moment. Anything can set off the time bomb: a comment made, a look, drama that happened yesterday, a frustrating day, and who knows what. Every class has its ups and downs. One day my 2nd period is absolute angels doing their work on analogies, participating in answering metaphor questions, and discussing the 3 different types of irony. Then next day they sound like 18 different radios blasting on different stations trying to be heard over the others. And 2nd period is my good class.

I don't want to go into detail about my 4th period class (my largest class that is after lunch) that almost brings me to tears every day. It was so nice of J to take the grammar quiz that I just handed her and throw it on the floor. Or when I gave A lunch detention for talking during the quiz, she threw down a couple of F bombs that included my name for the whole class to hear. Or N who I have only seen with that distinct, silent glare, squinting with anger at me and sharing with her neighbor how horrible of a teacher I am. It's a battle field out there, and the war is 33 vs. 1. Odds aren't looking so good.

Teaching
I see my classroom management going a lot better then my teaching so far. If anyone didn't know this already, but English was one of my weakest subjects in high school. I was the math/science girl who took the easiest humanities classes possible. Funny how I ended up as an ENGLISH teacher. I am quickly realizing how many learning gaps I have
in my knowledge of the English language. Yes, I can speak well and write well because I have gotten by just by what "sounds" right. That is why I am such a HORRIBLE speller. SO many words in the English language don't sound like they are spelled. I also blame spell check. In fact it is now a game to see how many grammar mistakes Ms. Quane has on the class work, because she will give out "Opportunity Tickets" for the Friday raffle. If I wasn't a native English speaker I would be screwed.

Every week I must learn something new, then teach it the next day. I found myself thinking, "What the hell is a pronoun? and "Irony....hmm.. what did Alanis Morissette teach me about irony?" I have heard that it is good that English doesn't come easily to me, because I will understand how to teach it better. Bull. Because I don't know anything but the absolute basics, and have an incomplete understanding of why and when you use, "me" instead of "I" or how the hell to teach a novel to kids who don't know English, my students are suffering. Right now I hate to say it but they are my little guinea pigs as I try to figure out what I am doing. I am sorry students that your teacher is unqualified as an English teacher. Blame it on TFA.

Grading
I decided to have a change of scenery and grade my papers/quizzes/essays at a little cafe near my house in Berkeley called, "Local 123." It is super Berkeley because it used all organic products that are locally grown, or fair trade. Even better, they have free WiFi. 3 hours later, I was done with the easy part of my grading. I have about 2 more hours to go. Why am I spending so much time grading when I should be lesson planning? I am quickly learning to despise grading because a) it takes forever, b) it is when you realize that all of your students are failing, c) it makes you cringe at all of the paper and wasted trees you have. 2 more hours to go....

Life
My roommates are what keep me going. Every day we get home and complain about our kids and our horrible days. We are there to listen, give advise, but more importantly, to remind each other why we are here. We are here because WE CARE. I have to remind my self that every day, but when I do, I feel a little bit better.

Our house has been labeled a disaster zone. Much like the 10 Egyptian plagues that predict the end of the world, our house has been attacked by locus (kinda), had a river of blood (more like a waterfall), and has been spreading air born disease. Our kitchen was attacked by ants for over a week. We tried to get rid of them in lots of ways, like spreading cinnamon down (we heard they don't like cinnamon) all over the kitchen floor. Turns out it is true that they don't like cinnamon, but it also doesn't stop them from finding a new path to get to our kitchen goodies. Last Friday we experienced a flood in our house when our 2nd floor bathroom went crazy and sent a waterfall through the 1st floor ceiling. The 1 inch of water that covered the 1st floor, mixed with the red cinnamon, created a lovely red river through our apt. After the water resided, a nice moldy, musty smell is left in my room, which is sure to give me some kind of respiratory problems. We are expecting a black bubonic plague next, or maybe starvation. Our landlords have been amazing on calling plumbers and helping out and assure us that this has never happened before. They are very nice people and we love the location of the house too much to every think of moving out. But damn, it sucks to find a new disaster every week when I come home from work.

Well, I have wasted enough time on my blog ranting about my life. I must be going and deciding what to do next with my life. It's going to be another, long long long week.

-Ms. Quane

Last thoughts:
I started my credentialing program, once a week for 3 hours. Eww.
I went home for a day. Amazingness. I love cream-cheese frosting. Dinner parties are stressful. My roommates are intense but loveable. Brianna is still my best friend :) Berkeley is amazing. I love my new grandma shoes. It poured this week. I forgot that it even rained in California. TFA people are crazy. I love biking. When can I go back to college?