Reflection

I have been reflecting a lot on where I am now, where I have been, and where I want to go. It has been 22 weeks since I began teaching. 6 long months. 22 frustrating Sunday nights. 6 months of stress and strain. But now that the 2nd semester has started, I am able to finally look ahead: 15 more weeks of teaching (not including STAR testing, and finals week). 4 1/2 months to go until year 1 is done. I am excited to finish this roller coaster of a year, but I am terrified that my students will not have learned everything I promised that they would in the next 4 months. That is not a lot of time to re-teach new material, AND the 6 months of material that they didn't get because of poor teaching on my part. Apparently the 1st semester for new teachers is just b.s.

But now that I am looking into the future, the questions have been accumulating: Will your students reach their big goal (81% mastery on the final test)? What are you going to teach next year? How long are you planning on teaching? What are you doing this summer? How are you going to do things different next year? All of these questions are unanswerable at the moment, but they have forced me to change my focus from the past and present, into looking towards the future. And although my future is currently an unwritten book, I am excited to fill in the pages over the next 4 1/2 months.

I have no books

Our school is too poor and my principle is too cheap to buy a class set of books for my students, so I created a profile on Donor's Choose (teachers FAVORITE website). Donor's choose has already helped me get a small, but substantial, class library and an LCD projector! Even if you don't wish to donate, check out my profile and spread the word!

http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=356983&sharebar=true

Sub Day

I took my 1st day off of work last Friday. It was a 1/2 day of school after finals week and I figured that most students were not even going to show up. When I arrived to class Monday morning this is what I found: my chairs were all over the place, I had a fresh gang sign on my wall, all of my fruit snacks were gone, Sandra had written her name 20 times on the chock board, I had a mural of a garden and sunset drawn on my board, all my pens were missing, my new ball was gutted and flat, I have no more paper clips, and my garbage can decided to run away. I am never leaving them alone again.

The biggest little moment

Some background: I have a "snack" drawer in my desk where I keep things like granola bars, fruit snacks, and cookies for my students who are hungry. So many of my students are hungry all day, and having this little drawer of food is the least I can do to keep them happy (and paying attention in class). The most prized snack was the green Nature Valley Granola bars, which I quickly ran out of once the kids found out I had them.

This morning, as I wanted into the school, I crossed paths with the notorious J (she is the one who threw a fit and almost started a riot in my class 4th period right before their final yesterday. Grrrr). She is like a ticking time, bomb; I never know what she is going to say or do. She stopped me in the hall and opened her backpack. A million possibilities ran through my head of what she was going to pull out. To my surprise, she pulled out a green Nature Valley Granola bar. "I brought this for you. My granny went to the store and bought them." I accepted the granola bar with a shocked smile and told her to thank her granny. That little gesture of kindness proved to me that no, J, does not hate me. Success!

-Ms. Quane

One of those days...

It has been a long time since it has been, "One of those days." Days where I question why I am doing this. Days when I wonder what went wrong. Days when I pray that tomorrow will be better. Days that just won't end. Today was one of those days.

This week is Final's week. I wish that I was happy that I do not have to lesson plan for 3 days, but instead I am paranoid, frantic, and scatter brained. My senior's averaged a 56%, I caught 2 students cheating during 3rd period, and my 4th period started off with a riot (literally students standing up, yelling, and refusing to take the test). I officially hate final's week.

Thank goodness I am still keeping up on my new years resolution: positivity. Here are some positive vibes that kept me going through this horrible day:

-I joined a gym. FINALLY
-I know that K studied so much for her final. It paid off!
-Ms. Matlock and Amy for helping me with the scantron mess at school
-Donor's Choose
-Bribing a student with brownies who REFUSED to take the test. It worked.
-Happy text messages from old friends.
-Getting a chance to pee during school hours.
-Planning a tahoe trip

I feel better already!

-Ms. Q

PS Check out my Donor's Choose Site- our school can't afford books, so I'm asking for donations!

http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=356983&sharebar=true

Realization #148

Realization #148- I'd rather take a final, than make a final.
Realization #149- 5 am wake up calls just are not sustainable
Realization #150- I take my aggression out on my student's essays when I grade.
Realization #151- I have the best TFA friends.
Realization #152- I have the BEST roommates.
Realization #153- The fact that I am starting to make connections between my real life and the show LOST is pretty scary.
Realization #154- My life is tough, but pretty damn amazing.

-Ms Q

Gratitude

I am thankful for knowing that I am not alone in this. I am thankful for all of the support I have behind me. I am thankful for all of the positive people around me, cheering me on. I am thankful for being part of something bigger.

Ms. Quane

or also known as lil' Quane to my 6th period (rhymes with lil' wayne, the rapper. goggle it and you will laugh)

New Years Resolutions

Daily Gratitude Journal- Write at least 1 entry a day of positivty.
I am thankful for my students who turned in their essays on time (38% of all students). I am thankful for the students who came into class today and worked on their essays before school, after school, and during lunch. I am thankful for short days at school. I am thankful for the student who wrote "I <3 Ms. Quane" on the board.

-Ms. Q

Bye Bye Freedom

In 2 hours, my winter break will be terminated. I jumped into the break having no plans and no expectations. All I planned to do was work on my Lesson Plans and think about school. Thank goodness life got in the way and I ended up having a great break. I cannot help but to look back at what an awesome, random, spontaneous break I had. I met so many new people, and reconnected with long lost friends and family. Here is a super lighting speed recap of my 2 week break, where grumpy Ms. Quane was back to happy Kellee again:

Holiday party with work friends; Went to the Graduate Bar...amazingness!; Roommates leave for the east coast...tear; fabulous brunch with Justin; drive to San Jose, then Fremont, then Sutter's Creek, then finally TAHOE with Aldene, Bri, Matt, and 2 dogs; snowboarded at Heavenly on my new SNOWBOARD; Christmas eve Chinese style at Auntie Marty's with festivities and the family; Talk about work to every relative; Laurel's birthday; Hang with Tara; Chill at home for a day before I go back to Berkeley; Tahoe numero dos with Laurel and her friends; worked on my JUMPS (balla status); Back to Berkeley; then San Jose to see Elaine before she goes back (that you so much for the book donations Elaine for my students!); Quane Hill; Berkeley; New Years in San Francisco with Laurel and friends (fun night!); lonely day alone in Berkeley (thank you Laurel for saving me from myself); roommates are back from the east coast (woohooo); went back to the Graduate with N; Berkeley; Laurel's for dinner; sitting behind my computer procrastinating and reminiscing on what a wonderful, crazy, random, memorable winter break I had.

Back to the grind. For some reason I am not anxious or worried. It is either because I am in denial and I can't believe that I have to say Bye Bye to my Freedom and go back to the daily grind, or, I am finally getting better at this teaching thing. We'll find out after tomorrow!

-Ms. Quane