I am re-inspired. More on why later, but here are some thoughts that are busting out of my mind and I need to get them out somewhere.
I was conversing with a friend about my life experiences, and how I have felt like I always go "with the grain." I grew up doing what I was told, going to good schools, and trying to fit in. I was always looking for who I was vs. who I wanted to be. If you go with the grain, you are not an individual, just what someone or something thinks you should be.
I think that the first significant thing that I have done to go "against the grain" is also the thing that has helped me define who I am: teaching high school in East Oakland. All three of those things are not looked highly upon by much of society. Yes I get the "good for you" or "wow you are doing something great" but most of those same people are also thinking, "she could have done something better with her life."
Although TFA is a somewhat trendy and attractive organization for young people right now, the concept of being an extremely privileged person going into situations that I can obviously choose not to do, is extremely against the grain. I don't know exactly when I began to feel so strongly about my work, but just the mere fact that I can leave my situation, makes me want to stay. And stay longer. It feels great to finally push back and swim upstream.
So I want to thank that friend for challenging me and showing me that it's okay to go against the grain with my image, with my profession, and my passions. I'm in a really good place right now, and I hope it carries over until the beginning of next year when I really need it.
Coming Soon: More on my amazing experiences as an TFA Induction Coordinator!
-Kel
PS Here are some more closing thoughts after speaking with an experienced teacher.
Thoughts on teaching: 1st year. complete. 2nd year. omg we have to do this again. 3rd year. why isn't this getting easier. 4th year. damn I"m old. Etc. Etc. I am excited to see how long I can last in this profession before it eats me alive.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
1st Day of Summer (for me)
Yes, it is true. The mythical being that some refer to as "summer vacation," is actually true. Today, I finally experienced it for the first time, and I still can't believe it.
Today is MY first day of real summer. Although I did not have 100 students to attend to this past week, I have had Induction Coordinator work/meetings, TFA meetings/paperwork, 2 days of English conferences in Santa Rosa, room remodeling, and roommate goodbyes to deal with.
Today, I can finally take a breath. Or at least I am trying to. Today, while I tried to do what non-teachers call "relax" I realized that I have a problem. I can't sit still. The impulse to stand up and be productive is far too strong in me. Let me remind you that the last time I actually spent time to "relax" was over a year ago when I lived in Spain. Since then my life has been non-stop stress. I don't think my body knows what it feels like to be on vacation.
But nonetheless, today with Caroline's prompting, I decided to try to relax in the backyard with a good book and my bikini. <30 seconds later> I'm thirsty. I better get a glass of water. I have TFA paperwork to do. I have the wrong sunglasses. I better get my other ones. Where is my sunscreen? Damn I should go work out. When do I have to send that email? Is that my phone? No, nobody loves me. This book is good. I better go get a pencil so I can identify the figurative language and challenging vocabulary for my students. Damn those rose hedges need trimming. Let me tell you, pruning and cutting rose bushes in your bikini is not a good idea.
After I finished weeding the backyard (still in my bikini) I was able to lay out for about 30 minutes before the anxiety kicked in again. I've really got to work on this.
Here is to a productive (and relaxing) summer!
-Kellee
Today is MY first day of real summer. Although I did not have 100 students to attend to this past week, I have had Induction Coordinator work/meetings, TFA meetings/paperwork, 2 days of English conferences in Santa Rosa, room remodeling, and roommate goodbyes to deal with.
Today, I can finally take a breath. Or at least I am trying to. Today, while I tried to do what non-teachers call "relax" I realized that I have a problem. I can't sit still. The impulse to stand up and be productive is far too strong in me. Let me remind you that the last time I actually spent time to "relax" was over a year ago when I lived in Spain. Since then my life has been non-stop stress. I don't think my body knows what it feels like to be on vacation.
But nonetheless, today with Caroline's prompting, I decided to try to relax in the backyard with a good book and my bikini. <30 seconds later> I'm thirsty. I better get a glass of water. I have TFA paperwork to do. I have the wrong sunglasses. I better get my other ones. Where is my sunscreen? Damn I should go work out. When do I have to send that email? Is that my phone? No, nobody loves me. This book is good. I better go get a pencil so I can identify the figurative language and challenging vocabulary for my students. Damn those rose hedges need trimming. Let me tell you, pruning and cutting rose bushes in your bikini is not a good idea.
After I finished weeding the backyard (still in my bikini) I was able to lay out for about 30 minutes before the anxiety kicked in again. I've really got to work on this.
Here is to a productive (and relaxing) summer!
-Kellee
Friday, June 11, 2010
No more students, no more books....
... no more teacher's dirty looks!
Today was my last day of school when the students are gone, but the teachers still work. I cleaned my room; I took down all of the posters and paper; I hoarded about 5 hole punchers and staplers from teachers who were just throwing them out; I drilled the cabintes shut so summer school kids can't steal my things; I turn in my room key. School's out for summer!
Before the year ended I managed to put on 3 fabulous/horrible student run Romeo and Juliet plays with my students for their final exam. We had Romeo with a Scottish kilt, and Juliet in a Indian sari. There was love, there was killing, and there were tears (mostly of laughter from how bad the acting was). Trying to control these kids may have been the most stressful thing I did all year, but it was also one of the most fun things we did in class. It was the perfect way to end the year with my crazy freshmen.
It has been a long, exhausting year (as my blog has grimly informed you). Infact, I am too tired to really write much. After a long day of cleaning my room, saying goodbye to 2 of my favorite students (who came to visit me), and spending 5 glorious hours out with the staff for drinks, I am ready to say goodbye to Ms. Quane...for a while.
No time to rest for me because somehow I packed my schedule to the brim. Tomorrow I have Galileo Summer training, senior graduation, and celebrations. Next week I have 3 English related conferences. Then I have TFA inductions, etc. etc. No rest for the weary.
-Ms. Quane, signing out.
Today was my last day of school when the students are gone, but the teachers still work. I cleaned my room; I took down all of the posters and paper; I hoarded about 5 hole punchers and staplers from teachers who were just throwing them out; I drilled the cabintes shut so summer school kids can't steal my things; I turn in my room key. School's out for summer!
Before the year ended I managed to put on 3 fabulous/horrible student run Romeo and Juliet plays with my students for their final exam. We had Romeo with a Scottish kilt, and Juliet in a Indian sari. There was love, there was killing, and there were tears (mostly of laughter from how bad the acting was). Trying to control these kids may have been the most stressful thing I did all year, but it was also one of the most fun things we did in class. It was the perfect way to end the year with my crazy freshmen.
It has been a long, exhausting year (as my blog has grimly informed you). Infact, I am too tired to really write much. After a long day of cleaning my room, saying goodbye to 2 of my favorite students (who came to visit me), and spending 5 glorious hours out with the staff for drinks, I am ready to say goodbye to Ms. Quane...for a while.
No time to rest for me because somehow I packed my schedule to the brim. Tomorrow I have Galileo Summer training, senior graduation, and celebrations. Next week I have 3 English related conferences. Then I have TFA inductions, etc. etc. No rest for the weary.
-Ms. Quane, signing out.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Weekend of Rejuvenation
15 people I have never met before. We are sitting in a circle, wearing fake mustaches (which also can be great uni brows) and face paint, passing an imaginary whoosh ball, dancing in place, and absolutely laughing uncontrollably. Just another day at camp.
Last weekend was my staff training at Galileo Summer Quest. This summer I am going to be the Fashion and Design instructor at Galileo, teaching little boys and girls how to dream, draw, and create clothes of their own.
Many of my friends that I met since I became a teacher were completely shocked when I told them that I will be teaching fashion. I guess my teacher gear (Hush Puppy granny shoes and conservative Quaker-esk outfits) was not up to date with the current fashion trends. Since I have become a teacher I have had to completely recreate myself and my wardrobe to look more "mature." My lacrosse shorts and workout shirts were replaced with black slacks and non-gang colored blouses (turns out gangs have claimed blue, red, green, orange, and purple). Okay, I admit I have let myself go this year, but that makes this summer even more exciting. I am going to get the chance to find the creativity that I once had for fashion and mix it with something else I love: teaching.
After working in my completely dysfunctional school (it actually continues to get worse and worse), Galileo has been a refreshing reminder of how wonderful learning organizations can be. Galileo is ORGANIZED. They had us rotating in well structured stations covering topics such as "Pleasing Parents" to "Behavior management" (which involved me singing USHER all day). Their tips and advice were excellent and very practical. The instructors were excellent and engaging. Every moment they spoke I took mental notes on how to be more like them in my classroom next year. Galileo is POSITIVE. Every person there is a positive bundle of energy. If smiles are contagious, then at Galileo there was a full blown epidemic of happiness. But the thing is it was not fake cheesy happiness. It was sincere, inner goodness that people were sharing with each other. Screw Disneyland, because I found my new happiest place on Earth.
I could talk forever about Galileo (and trust me, you will hear about it all summer long), but the most amazing thing about it is the people I will be working with. I seriously cannot remember last time I have ever laughed this hard and this consistently. Ever moment people are cracking jokes, or doing random things for entertainment. On the first day of our training we all got mustaches (I got the evil villain stash) and we decided to see what else these fuzzy little stickers could be. Turns out they make great evil eyebrows, side burns, nose hair, hand puppets, and arm pit fuzz. Yes, some may call this immature, but I call it creative and damn funny. At camp we are given permission to be kids again and to have fun. Something that not many jobs allow these days.
After 2 days of 8am-6pm training, I feel like I have already joined a new family (some would say cult) of amazing, intelligent, witty, kind-hearted, friendly, open, creative, expressive, passionate individuals. Just thinking about this summer gets me all happy inside :) The more I think about camp, the more I can imagine myself working for an organization like Galileo that combines learning and fun. I think that this summer is going to help show me what my next step after teaching is going to be. We'll see.
-Ms. Q (for only 1 more day!!)
P.S. One of my favorite games is called whoosh ball. You pass an imaginary ball around until people say random things, such as jump and cheer (then every must jump and cheer). Other whoosh ball jems are James brown (kiss yourself, jump back, thurst), Elvis (jump back and say, "Thank you very much" while gyrating your hips), and my absolute favorite, EAT and CRY (I imagine that I am eating a banana split). haha
Last weekend was my staff training at Galileo Summer Quest. This summer I am going to be the Fashion and Design instructor at Galileo, teaching little boys and girls how to dream, draw, and create clothes of their own.
Many of my friends that I met since I became a teacher were completely shocked when I told them that I will be teaching fashion. I guess my teacher gear (Hush Puppy granny shoes and conservative Quaker-esk outfits) was not up to date with the current fashion trends. Since I have become a teacher I have had to completely recreate myself and my wardrobe to look more "mature." My lacrosse shorts and workout shirts were replaced with black slacks and non-gang colored blouses (turns out gangs have claimed blue, red, green, orange, and purple). Okay, I admit I have let myself go this year, but that makes this summer even more exciting. I am going to get the chance to find the creativity that I once had for fashion and mix it with something else I love: teaching.
After working in my completely dysfunctional school (it actually continues to get worse and worse), Galileo has been a refreshing reminder of how wonderful learning organizations can be. Galileo is ORGANIZED. They had us rotating in well structured stations covering topics such as "Pleasing Parents" to "Behavior management" (which involved me singing USHER all day). Their tips and advice were excellent and very practical. The instructors were excellent and engaging. Every moment they spoke I took mental notes on how to be more like them in my classroom next year. Galileo is POSITIVE. Every person there is a positive bundle of energy. If smiles are contagious, then at Galileo there was a full blown epidemic of happiness. But the thing is it was not fake cheesy happiness. It was sincere, inner goodness that people were sharing with each other. Screw Disneyland, because I found my new happiest place on Earth.
I could talk forever about Galileo (and trust me, you will hear about it all summer long), but the most amazing thing about it is the people I will be working with. I seriously cannot remember last time I have ever laughed this hard and this consistently. Ever moment people are cracking jokes, or doing random things for entertainment. On the first day of our training we all got mustaches (I got the evil villain stash) and we decided to see what else these fuzzy little stickers could be. Turns out they make great evil eyebrows, side burns, nose hair, hand puppets, and arm pit fuzz. Yes, some may call this immature, but I call it creative and damn funny. At camp we are given permission to be kids again and to have fun. Something that not many jobs allow these days.
After 2 days of 8am-6pm training, I feel like I have already joined a new family (some would say cult) of amazing, intelligent, witty, kind-hearted, friendly, open, creative, expressive, passionate individuals. Just thinking about this summer gets me all happy inside :) The more I think about camp, the more I can imagine myself working for an organization like Galileo that combines learning and fun. I think that this summer is going to help show me what my next step after teaching is going to be. We'll see.
-Ms. Q (for only 1 more day!!)
P.S. One of my favorite games is called whoosh ball. You pass an imaginary ball around until people say random things, such as jump and cheer (then every must jump and cheer). Other whoosh ball jems are James brown (kiss yourself, jump back, thurst), Elvis (jump back and say, "Thank you very much" while gyrating your hips), and my absolute favorite, EAT and CRY (I imagine that I am eating a banana split). haha
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